Widow Kravitz's Parrot

Old widow Kravitz's cat has died, so she went to Moe's pet store for (what
else) a pet.

Moe says, "I have just the thing." He leads Mrs. Kravitz to the back room, where she sees a magnificently colored parrot.

"Does he talk?" asks Mrs. Kravitz.

"Oh, yes, he has quite a large vocabulary," Moe answers.

"Hi, lady, how's it going?" the bird squawks.

Mrs. Kravitz says, "That sounds like what I'm looking for." She buys the parrot and takes it home.

Mrs. Kravitz is sunning herself on the patio with her bird. The bird suddenly yells, "God damn! It's hot out here!"

Mrs. Kravitz is appalled. She throws down her newspaper, looks at the bird and says, "I won't stand for that kind of talk! If I hear such filth coming out of your mouth again, I'll really cool you down." The bird says, "Hey, it's not my fault it's so goddamn hot out here."

Mrs. Kravitz has had it. "I warned you," she says. She takes the bird inside and throws it in the freezer. "Now, you can just sit in there for fifteen minutes, and decide whether you'd like it a little warm, or a lot cool." She slams the door and walks away.

The bird shivers, looks around, and notices a frozen turkey in the corner of the freezer. The parrot nudges it and says, "Hey, buddy... what'd you say? 'Fuck?'"